by Fantana: Great fights are always like a great play. They take time to build up, in a non-gay way, before finally, vulnerably, exploding upon the world with their dramatic endings to be dissected and applauded. In Romeo and Juliet some of the characters have managed to live on forever in folklore and TV programs, most noticeably Romeo. I believe this to be the case with the Haye vs Chisora where the two main characters will forever be revered for this great battle we shall witness. Again, as in all great plays they are written by the English and contain intense rivalries, such as England vs France, England vs Germany, England vs anyone else who dares challenge us. The ingredients of Englishness, rivalry and intense buildup are what make fights, and plays, great. A real man, such as myself, can see this will be much like Englands current European Cup campaign, just that little bit special when some thought it might be a freak show.
Everything leading up to the Haye vs Chisora battle has clearly added to the excitement, the all British factor, the history between the pair, the fact David Cameron said he would be tuning into watch. It is hard not to compare this fight with other great heavyweight bouts such as Lewis vs Tyson or Cooper vs Bugner. Yet there remains one particular match up which has been etched into boxing fans memories since they first saw its grainy images on Youtube.. That fight was between two Americans, the all-conquering Joe Frazier vs the unbeaten George Foreman. It has lived on and gathered almost three hundred thousand views. People still talk about both fighters, and not just because one sells grills, but because they are heroes amongst men. I will outline in this article why the Haye vs Chisora fight is going to be better, more enticing and more historical than even the massive mega fight which was Frazier vs Foreman.
THE MANLY ENGLISH FACTOR
Both men are British, born and bred or at least became adopted English when they left somewhere in Africa. Britain is known for producing real men, such as myself, Tony Blair and The Rolling Stones. Manliness is defined by things such as toughness, work ethic and stiff upper lippedness which are also the epitome of Englishness. Often these things are acquired during adolescence, whilst growing up. We have some real rough places in England to grow up in, places which can be intimidating. America might have Detroit, Harlem and Gauntanamo Bay, but England has places like Hollyoaks and Eastenders. Heck, even the rural areas like Emmerdale are filled with murder and violence. Ask anyone from good old England how tough it is growing up, walking six miles to school up hill in the snow to get there, and six miles also uphill to get back home. America has ghost towns where everyone shot each other dead whereas Britain has council Estates where the people have no jobs and have to endure an oppressive government who read their emails. These fine British folk, who are so poor, so deprived, they can only afford 42” Plasma TVs and an Xbox 360, with no Playstation 3. They quiet often don’t even know what a Blu Ray is. These are the tough conditions which Haye and possibly Chisora grew up in, being tough is infused into their very being.
In about as big a contrast as you can get, both George and Frazier had much nicer upbringings seeing as they got bought up in America, the land of the free and home of the brave. A great representation of America is the fact everyone has pearly white smiles with no crooked or out of place teeth. They spend more on their military then Britain does on its entire yearly budget! Minus the euro bailouts of course. They have sun tans and Miami, we have Rhyl. They are so pampered and ignorant to the fact they think it is OK to play rugby wearing helmets and padding when in reality it isn’t. This is why America produces so little great heavyweights anymore, because they are too busy brushing their teeth and listening to their iPods whereas mighty England churns out greatness like it was coming of a Ford production line with the likes of Tyson Fury, David Price and the Rizzle Kicks the fruits of its hard work and determination. Quite simply England produces tougher, meaner but ultimately more gentlemanly men.
BOTH ARE REAL HEAVYWEIGHTS
George Foreman is often cast as a huge beast of a man, which he was, but in today’s heavyweight scene he would be pretty small. Joe Frazier wouldn’t even be a heavyweight today because of things like science and maths. On the other hand both Haye and Chisora outweigh either Foreman or Frazier. Haye may tip the scales slightly below 220 pounds, but it is all pure muscle with very low body fat giving him that rippling, manly look. In a country where 40% of its population are obese you would think America would have the bigger heavyweights, but it doesn’t, in this case England has the advantage in sheer size. This creates an excitement factor because the Heavyweight division is the crown jewels in boxing and sports entertainment. The bigger the pugilists the better the fight, everyone knows this. This all adds up to mean that Haye vs Chisora with over forty pounds weight advantage over Foreman vs Frazier is undoubtedly going to be a better fight.
IT WON’T BE SO ONE SIDED
Foreman vs Frazier was brutal, one sided and shocking because it was so unexpected. Perhaps Frazier was over rated, or George under rated, but for a truly great occasion and fight it is no fun watching a much bigger, stronger opponent ruthlessly batter his weaker foe like a psychopath. It is not sporting. We have already seen Haye vs Chisora battle it out like real men in a public arena in front of women where alcohol was being served, and it looked like a pretty even match to me even when weapons were being used. This leads me to believe that the actual boxing contest won’t be too one sided as both fighters are physically quite even. Haye is faster, Chisora stronger. Haye is a more explosive puncher whereas Delboy has the better chin. Haye has more skills and Chisora better stamina. Both like to fight, both like to talk, both often use vulgar language and make obscene gestures. It is just even whichever way you look at it. Even if it turns out to be a one sided beat down, nobody will mind. Everyone likes to see David Haye get a good kicking because he is David Haye, and everyone likes watching David Haye punch people because he is so entertaining at doing it. Honestly no one will give a shit as long as we get a little bit of time away from being stuck in the dross of England, and boxing is a great piece of escapism.
THE BUILD UP IS GOBSMACKING
Everyone likes Derek Chisora as he has that certain X-Factor, maybe it is some sort of manifestation of mental illness, I am not sure. He is a bit edgy, charming, unhinged. He does and says unpredictable things which make all his fights entertaining, even when he hasn’t bothered to train like vs Tyson Fury he still gave a great effort. From the minute the street fight kicked off between him and Dave, to the press conference and that metal barrier dividing them this all screamed of brilliance. It had the nation talking, it had America sitting up thinking ‘Why can’t these great Englishmen be American?’ Both these chaps, like England in general, will jump straight into a massive war and go toe to toe with anyone. Haye even does it with a broken toe. It all begs the question, what are we going to witness in the upcoming weeks? Another fight? Maybe someone will get strangled as promised? Haye may get slapped and spat on, we can only hope and speculate at this point. The weigh in will be something of an event all by itself which will produce more back and forth action than Foreman vs Frazier ever did. There is just so much possibilities, so much intrigue that this could be the summers blockbuster event which Hollywood couldn’t even script and let us not forget they had America winning Vietnaam.
CONCLUSION
It is easy to dismiss today’s generation of heavyweights if you listen to Americans. ‘There are no great fighters anymore’ they always cry. There is clear lack of American talent, no one is denying that, but there is so much greatness oozing out of England right now. I wonder if Foreman vs Frazier had been between two fighters who weren’t American if it would still be held up there as such a great and exciting fight? You don’t hear about Lewis vs McCrory much do you and that was every bit as one sided as Foreman vs Frazier. It is easy to see that inside of every American is an Englishman waiting to come out, this is why they speak English. This is why Simon Cowell is able to bring his TV shows from England to America and make a fortune. America loves England, they want more of us. They want to see our English greatness in their magazines, our flag raised on their soil, our monarchy plastered in their faces. They have forgotten 1776 and are genuinely sorry for it, they want to be reunited with the mother land. I think it would be wrong for any American, even patriots, to overlook this great match up and I hope this manly piece of literature has raised awareness to our friends across the big wide ocean called the sea.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana