Oh, boxing. Once a sport about grit, glory, and broken jaws — now just another glitzy sideshow bought out by oil billionaires and the sleazy yes-men who call themselves promoters. And where better to host the death of boxing’s soul than Saudi Arabia? A place where human rights violations get buried under fireworks, LED screens, and a few hundred million in appearance fees.
Welcome to the new face of the sport. It’s not about knockouts anymore. It’s about neckties, yacht parties, and making sure no one says “journalist” too loudly.
The real heavyweights? They’re sitting ringside in robes, not throwing punches.
These fights are made for men in thobes who think watching two millionaires slap each other around is the pinnacle of cultural enlightenment. Fighters like Anthony Joshua and Francis Ngannou? Just high-priced pets wheeled out to growl for the cameras and collect oil-funded cheques big enough to make Wall Street blush.
Deontay Wilder’s even tagging along, probably to punch some Latvian journeyman into a coma in front of a crowd that thinks he’s Mike Tyson because they Googled “black boxer famous.”
This isn’t a fight night. It’s a money parade. And every promoter from Eddie to Shelly to Al has his snout buried deep in the trough.
Saudi Arabia: Where boxing dreams go to die under LED lights
What used to be about the roar of the crowd is now just white noise in a $400 million sound system. The Saudis aren’t building a fight culture — they’re renting one. Temporarily. Like a pop-up theme park with blood, belts, and brain damage.
Ask yourself this: how many locals in Riyadh were watching Friday Night Fights before these cheque-waving clowns showed up? Spoiler: none. Because boxing was never about them. And still isn’t. This is a vanity project for the government, a shiny distraction to slap over real issues. “Look, we’re modern — we got Joshua over here shadowboxing for Sheik Abdul in a Swarovski-encrusted ring!” Modernization by way of meathead violence.
They’ve hijacked the sport and parked it in a place where tickets are comped for dignitaries who wouldn’t know a left hook from a camel’s backside.
Promoters: The real villains of this rigged circus
Let’s not even pretend the promoters give a toss. These are the same people who used to bang on about legacy and belts — now they’re booking fights in a desert because the venue comes with a yacht and an armored Rolls Royce.
“Growing the sport,” they say, while sticking a middle finger to the actual fans back home who built this game with their Sky Sports subscriptions and pub brawls over Carl Froch debates. Now they’ve got to wake up at 3 a.m. to watch a glorified sparring session in front of a half-interested VIP section sipping mocktails and taking selfies.
And they wonder why no one under 50 watches boxing anymore. You sold out your soul for a few barrels of oil and a lifetime supply of hummus buffets.
Boxing fans get shafted — again
Real boxing fans? We’re left watching this farce on DAZN, wondering why every major card now looks like a UN conference hosted by a Bond villain. Want to attend live? Better sell a kidney, mate. The sport has officially been yanked out of the hands of working-class fans and dumped into a gold-plated sandbox.
The real fans are back in London, Philly, and Manila — watching on dodgy streams, shouting at frozen screens while Eddie Hearn grins ear to ear counting Riyals like Scrooge McDuck.
Let’s not forget the fighters. Half of them are in on the scam, the other half are pawns too broke to say no. Most just want a payday before their brain turns to soup. Can’t blame them — but don’t expect us to cheer while the puppet strings get pulled.
Final round: Boxing’s soul for sale — make an offer
If this is the future of boxing, then let it burn. You can have your billion-dollar venues and fireworks displays. We’ll be here remembering when the sport meant something. When two hungry men fought for respect, not Rolls Royces. When it was about belts, not bank transfers.
Until then, enjoy your bloodsport in the desert. Just don’t pretend it’s for us. It’s not.
BRING BOXING BACK HOME. BRING BACK HBO & SHOWTIME. BURN THE SPORT AND START AGAIN.