Random Kernels

28.07.05 – By Evan Korn: As most boxing fans are aware, veteran judge Duane Ford gave Jermain Taylor the twelfth and deciding round in his title winning effort against Bernard Hopkins. Ford, who seemed to me to resemble a graduate of the Helen Keller School for boxing judges, and screwed up worse than Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon, in my opinion.

Ford is the same judge that scored Demarcus Corley beating Zab Judah, Michael Moorer leading George Foreman by only one point at the time of Foreman’s knockout win, and Gerry Cooney trailing Larry Holmes by only two points headed into the thirteenth round. In my opinion, it’s time for Ford to trade in his ringside seat for a bar stool. Maybe he can judge fights accurately while intoxicated. Staying sober sure doesn’t help.

Despite his “loss” to Taylor, Bernard Hopkins still cracks my all-time top-5 middleweight list.

Thomas Hearns returns to action this weekend in his hometown of Detroit. This ill-advised stab at glory comes over five years since his last fight (a loss to Uriah Grant), and nearly a quarter century since his war with Sugar Ray Leonard. At times like these, one yearns for a national commission, one that would have the sense to ban Hearns from lacing up the gloves.

“The Wedding Crashers” is the funniest movie of the year for one reason: Vince Vaughn.

The Lucia Rijker/Christy Martin bout was cancelled after Rijker allegedly tore her ACL training. Reportedly, the Mandalay Bay had sold only 500 tickets for this event. Heck, the World Mah Jong Championships could draw a bigger crowd.

Vassily Jirov looked older than bell-bottoms during his lackluster effort against Orlin Norris. At 223 pounds, he looked more out of shape than Phil Margera on “Celebrity Fit Club 2.” Yeah, I enjoy watching fat, out of work actors and televison personalities getting ridiculed.

By all accounts, Jermain Taylor is one of the nicest guys in boxing. Regardless, he has less charisma than a piece of whole wheat toast.

Why are Diego Corrales and Jose Luis Castillio fighting again? Like Hagler/Hearns and Jirov/Toney, some masterpieces are best left untouched. But the insatiable quest for the almighty dollar made this return bout possible. Do promoters like Bob Arum care? Money talks, and in this instance, the end justifies the means.

There have been reports that Winky Wright turned down six million dollars for a fall date with Oscar De La Hoya. Talk about turning down an easy day at the office.

Despite three consecutive marquee wins, Winky Wright is still not a superstar. Despite a flatlining career, De La Hoya puts fannies in the seats.

When Antonio Tarver returns to action, let’s hope Roy Jones dons a tuxedo. Hopefully, it’s Glen Johnson standing across that ring from Tarver. If anybody deserves another seven figure payday, it’s Johnson.

If Floyd Maywether has trouble finding an opponent, give Lovemore N’dou a call. Win or lose, the feisty South African comes to fight.

Final Thought: I haven’t written a column since the untimely death of Julian “Mr. KO” Letterlough. Letterlough, who crashed through our living room with his inspirational effort against Julio Gonzalez, was one of the few fighters who brought the goods each time he graced the ring. He came up just short against Gonzalez, almost knocked out perennial contender Derrick Harmon, and fought his heart out in a losing effort against the bigger, more skillful Vassily Jirov. My condolences go out to Mr. KO’s friends and family. RIP Julian.