By Paul Strauss: I think we all need a break from the great fights this past weekend. Let’s let our adrenaline levels subside a bit. So, turn down the heat, and get ready for a more cerebral pursuit. Give a gander at the contest sketched out below.
Normally the way these things work is for the reader to look at the photos in one column, and then match it with the proper name from another column. Or, in this case a quotation to the correct name. But, that would be much too easy for knowledgeable boxing fans and defenders of the little guy, so I set this up to involve a four step effort on your part.
First, you have to read the (10) quotations. Second, you have to read a short list (10) of brief biographical information. Third, you have to come up with a name that fits the bio, and finally you have to take the list of names (hopefully 10) you came up with and match it to the proper quote. Got it? Aw, come on, I can’t splain it any simp’pler Lucy!
Here we go with the ten quotations:
1. “I only had two fights as an amateur and lost both of them. Heck, I figured I didn’t have much of a future there – so I turned pro.”
2. “I don’t enjoy being struck by children.” (Hint – 44 yr old fighter vs. a 29 yr. old)
3. “I loved it until somebody hit me back.” (Hint – Celebrity, who fought as an amateur, made this quote.)
4. “It’ll either be stopped by the refs or the Red Cross.” (Hint – This quote made by someone about the Foreman vs. Moorer fight.)
5. “If I can’t beat this bum, take my name off the record books.” (Hint – this fighter grossly underestimated his opponent.)
6. “I’m a colorful fighter. I bleed a lot.” (Hint – it’s not the Bayonne Bleeder)
7. “Boxing is a contest of will and skill, with the will generally overcoming the skill, unless the skill of the one man is much greater than the skill of the other.” (Hint – huh?)
8. “Fighting is the only racket where you’re almost guaranteed to end up as a bum.” (Hint – I can’t give you one. (This one is too easy).
9. “I hit him as hard as I could, right on the chin. And down I went.” (Hint – the fighter who said this was at the end of his career.)
10. “The first day I got there, I put my suitcase down, looked up at the Sears Tower, and said, ‘Chicago, I (m) going to conquer you.’ When I looked down, my suitcase was gone.”
Forthwith we have the choppy bio’s: (In no particular order)
A. This guy had more than 200 fights, going 63-0, before suffering his first defeat. Then he won another 58 before being held to a draw! One story about him claims he won a round without throwing a punch!
B. This guy dreamed about being a fighter after he listened to the 1964 match between Ali vs. Liston. Ironically, he ended up with the same trainer as Ali, who implored him to try harder during one of his fights by asking him, “Do you want to be a bum all your life?”
C. In this man’s field, out of the top 100, he was once ranked #63, and he’s still working. He’s always been a bit controversial, and because of it has been involved in a few lawsuits. Some he won. Some he lost. But, who’s counting?
D. Hmmm, what can I tell you about this short little, cigar chopping curmudgeon. (Oh, I just did). Well, to give you just a little more, can I just say, “Peak a-boo!”!
E. Here’s another one that’s just too easy for you sluggo’s. Well, here’s a little bit anyway…….I heard a story that this guy was talked into caddying for some extra money. But, when our guy found out how much he would be paid, he decided to steal the golf clubs and hock them instead. Ya gotta love him!
F. This might be a bit tougher for you youngsters. Believe it or not, he fought a guy named Jimmy Carter (no, not the peanut farmer). He also fought someone named Carmen. Our man’s nickname was “Golden Boy”, but that didn’t stop him from getting accused of fixing fights.
G. This boxing great is still going strong, and he has a family affair kind of thing as well. He was an amateur boxer, a boxing instructor in the military, a pro boxer, a trucker, and on and on. He did so many things, all at the same time, that it led to a heart attack, so he gave everything up but boxing.
H. When you think of this guy’s real name, you think of the answer to the question, “What comes to the top?” His real first name is the same as that pig on Green Acres. George Foreman took something from this fighter. After retiring, he was a sheriff and a boxing commissioner.
I. This guy is a hoot. He’s probably had more quotes attributed to him than just about any other boxer except Muhammad Ali, and he’s neither pretty; nor, did he float like a butterfly. To look at him, you’d never believe that he just graduated (Jan 2008) magna cum laude from Temple University! Rumor has it his nose starting bleeding when put on his (graduation) robe. I’m just kidding.
J. This is another great fighter and great character. When my Dad and I watched him fight, my Dad would joke that the older the fighter got, the bigger and higher his trunks got. Soon his beltline would be his arm pits. When asked about his dietary secrets, he said something close to, “You can eat anything you want as long as you don’t swallow it”!
There you have it. Now put names to the bio’s., and then match the names to the quotes, and then go ahead and take an Excedrin. It should be fun. All of these characters should conjure up some good images and memories for you.
Then once you’re done with this task, rest up before the other Marquez fights you know who……..the little tiger (Pac Mac) from the Phillipines, who seems to have the number of most Mexican fighters. But, they love him too.
There’s a ton of other potentially good fights coming up as well: Peter vs. Maskaev, Juan Diaz vs. Nate Campbell, McCline vs. Ruiz (forget that one), Maccarinnelli vs. Haye, Andy Lee vs ?, and I want to see anybody beat Casamayor. Hopefully it will be Katsidis. Not that I’m a fan of Katsidis, but for some reason I just want someone to clean Joel’s clock. I know I should be nice, right? Casamayor is definitely a great fighter, but he also knows every trick in the book, and usually gets away with employing them. However, I digress, or as Joel would do…….turn away from the main subject.
Oh, I almost forgot. What about the answers? How about I keep you in suspense for a few days, and post them later, along with the source book for the quotes. In the meantime, you can exchange comments, compare notes, and call me names. Talk to you soon.