By Fantana: Recently us boxing fans have had to endure a lot of nonsense. Last night’s terrible robbery of Bernard Hopkins, a man who has done more for boxing and old people than most people, was just another nail in the coffin for boxing. A month or so ago we had Floyd Mayweather acting in a manner which was most unBritish, sucker punching a nice young man who was trying to hug him. What I witnessed in these two fights was a turning of the tide, from good old wholesome punching to something more akin to a circus show. When the Queen of England invented boxing, in a town 5.5 miles East of Bolton, over a hundred years ago us Brits did not expect to see the great name of England’s finest sport become so, for want of a better word, unmanly. A real man, such as myself, would never sucker punch someone! ‘But it was all legal’ cry the fans of Mayweather. Yes, perhaps so, but it was ethically wrong. I would go as far as to say it was a demonstration of psychotic behaviour, and anyone who supports such outlandish acts of violence is a secondary psychopath. But this is the way of the world these days and boxing needs to change if it is to survive in these troublesome times. So, I have put forth a few rule changes, seen in other sports, I suggest are made to ensure boxing is current and continues for another one hundred years..
1) 1) Introduce a free kick system
This could either be in the form of 1 free kick per round to both combatants, or if a foul is committed, the other victim is given the chance to kick his opponent. Whilst kicking is undeniably unmanly it is more accepted now than one hundred years ago. This may be due to factors such as the popularity of MMA, football and the police kicking protestors.
An example of how this would work – Floyd Mayweather was headbutted by Victor Ortiz. Floyd gets to kick Ortiz in the face, legs or belly. Fighting resumes and no one is sucker punched. The fans are happy and David Cameron doesn’t have to write the Queen to explain to her how such an act of malice was carried out under the Queensbury rules.
An example of 1 free kick per round – Bernard Hopkins punches Chad Dawson, who picks up Bernard Hopkins. Rather than being bound by using his fists Bernard kicks Chad Dawson on the belly button, is instantly dropped onto his feet, and punching continues as normal. There would be no bad referring decision and boxing wouldn’t receive another black eye.
2) 2) Introduce shorter round (possibly just for heavyweights)
Let’s be honest, a lot of people don’t like boxing because they find it boring. Wladimir Klitschko is a good example of boring. Not because he does anything wrong, but because of the rules. You see, rather than endure 36 minutes of twenty punches around, we condense this action into 12 rounds of one minute thirty seconds. This way we get just all out action. No more shuffling around breathing heavy, or hugging. In fact we should ban hugging.
3) No hugging
Let us not pretend clinching is an art form. It is hugging which knackered people do when they have no energy left. A good example of this would be Wladimir Klitschko. In every single round he boxed in. Ever. If the conbatants knew they were not allowed to hug, hold, clinch or whatever fancy name you can think of calling it to make it sound more acceptable, then we wouldn’t have to worry about apologies in the ring.
4) 4) No touching gloves in the rounds
This is really stupid. It just makes the whole fight seem like a sparring session. Manny Pacquiao is the most consistent glove toucher in boxing history. Yes, they can touch gloves if the ref demands it of them at the start of the fight, but after that for every time these buddies touch gloves a point must be taken from them. It ruins the atmosphere. You don’t see Ryan Shawcross patting folks on the back do you?
5) No referees over the age of 25
As As a 25 year old myself, I can verify that we are the strongest of all ages. We don’t make mistakes like these old guys you see with grey hair, and we can keep up with the action and not look away at the time keepers because we couldn’t remember if we needed to get milk from the grocery store. No errors means a much better boxing experience for the participants and viewers. This would generate more fans because, as David Cameron rightly says, we are all in this together.
In Closing
The rule changes are just my suggestions, perhaps there are better ones out there but I think overall these would benefit boxing immensely. Of course people are mostly scared of change, but we should be more fearful of the disgraces happening in boxing. The fights not being made, the fights being ruined and the fans are getting ripped off due to the silly officiating. As a man of the people I believe that together we can make these changes become a reality.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana