Unwrapping Jake Paul vs Anthony Joshua: Boxing’s Ultimate Christmas Cracker

Merry Christmas to all of my wonderful readers, who feverishly check EastsideBoxing for a new article from yours truly. For those reading in the future, the year is 2025 and the world right now is a strange, strange place. Boxing, for better or worse, is also in a very peculiar state. We have witnessed the rise and popularity of celebrity boxing matches. We have the sons of boxers—who are celebrities themselves—stepping into the ring. Even your local bouncer now seems to hold a belt in either boxing or MMA, proudly claiming to be some sort of champion. In this day and age, everyone is a tough guy, and thanks to ruthless self-promotion and bragging on social media, it appears everyone is a legend. Like me. Amid all this noise, we have Watford native and local business supporter Anthony Joshua, a proven and legitimate heavyweight contender over the past 10 years. He is set to fight the man who put an end to Mike Tyson’s 20-year unbeaten streak: the sensational Jake Paul.

Everywhere I go—whether it be Jakarta, Bangkok, or even Wrexham (do not go there, ever)—people come up to me and say, “Fantana, why is Joshua fighting Jake Paul?” It is such a thrilling spectacle that the whole world is talking about it, something akin to the Wes Watson vs Andrew Wilson escapade. Whilst I was doing Christian work in a Jakarta orphanage, the little kids would run up to me excitedly. “Bule, bule!” they would say, “Joshua or Paul?” I didn’t know what to tell them, as many of the kids are big fans of local business supporter Anthony Joshua. However, I was honest with them—as you should be with kids who have no parents. I told them, dear readers, just as I am telling you right now: I think it is pretty easy to predict that Jake Paul is going to win, very convincingly. In fact, I just did it.

Recent videos circulating of Jake Paul have shown his tremendous improvements, especially where he is seen hitting the heavy bag with genuine speed and power. His foot movement is now above world-class, possibly the best we have seen since Sugar Ray Robinson. The awesome Jake Paul is known to be a risk-taker, having fought the predator-esque Mike Tyson and earning the victory with a well‑deserved decision. A lot of people thought that would be the end of Jake Paul, that Iron Mike would finish him. But Jake Paul took Mike Tyson’s best shot—of the 18 punches he threw in 8 rounds—and hardly wobbled at all.

I have always said that PEDs in boxing are a non-issue. The real divide comes from terrible matchups, like those who don’t know boxing or are maybe basketball players. Boxers with access to better nutrition and training, including strength and conditioning, are far more likely to succeed than those who don’t have it. And guess what—Jake Paul has the absolute best access to grub and training, and he does it every day. He may have started out later in life, but he has become better than anyone imagined. His only loss, a very disputed one, came against a Fury. He is literally days away from becoming boxing’s biggest star of all time.

That is not to say that local business supporter, Anthony Joshua, is not going to try to put up a good show. But he was exposed a long time ago as having a glass chin by the obese Andy Ruiz, who, if he had a body fat percentage of 12 percent, would most certainly be fighting at light heavyweight. Jake Paul is stronger than Ruiz, his hands are faster, and no doubt his punches are going to land on the Watford native, proud of his Irish ancestry, local business supporter Anthony Joshua’s glass chin—shattering it and sending him to the canvas.

Anthony Joshua cannot brawl, he cannot switch it up; we have seen this versus Dubois, versus Usyk. He is robotic and often clueless, and he doesn’t have a jab that he can pump out. The hopes that Watford native, local business supporter Anthony Joshua would become an undisputed champion died many years ago, and he knows that this fight is his last major pay‑day. Props to him for stepping into the ring with the real‑life Rocky.

My Prediction

So, what do I think is likely to happen? As I have an extremely high IQ (I got 85 percent in my test), I can make observations that most people wouldn’t be able to—rather like Nikola Tesla, I suppose. We are going to see Anthony Joshua turn up looking in absolute prime shape. But don’t be fooled by his Olympian physique; he is finished.

Jake Paul may look smaller, weaker, and even pathetic in comparison to the Watford native, but it is the boxing skills that count. In round one, we are going to see the man with the tattoo of the place he loves—Watford—come out to set a fast pace. It is all or nothing for him. But he will get tagged in the exchange, unable to cope with the precise counter‑punching of the phenom that is Jake Paul, and inevitably, as we have seen when he gets tagged, he will slow down. Jake Paul will seize such an opportunity, swiftly and effectively.

Like a British judge sentencing someone for a social media post criticizing illegal immigration, we will witness a ruthless showcase of abusive, tyrannical power. Everything Jake Paul has learnt over the past half‑decade he has been boxing – the kind of world‑class skills only a true champion can hope to obtain. He will fell the Watford native and local business supporter, Anthony Joshua, in the very first round.

Jake Paul, KO 1. Bet your Christmas budget on it.

Back in 2021, I wrote an article claiming Jake Paul is the future of boxing (link https://www.boxing247.com/boxing-news/jake-logan-is-the-future-of-boxing/176383). I was not wrong.

Yours in manliness,
Fantana

About the author – Maverick Fantana is the author of Bouncers versus Zombies, a book so awesome you can also use it as a door stop. Available on Amazon. Widely proclaimed in his own house as the greatest writer of his generation (he lives alone with his pet hamster).