Dirty dancing – what is and what should never be in professional boxing

By Doug Hattier: Boxing once to be the greatest sport, and will again, lost a lot of its appeal because of the Dirty Business outside of the Ring. Considering the rules of boxing barely fills one page you would think it wouldn’t take a genius to administer them. Which leads to the question of who signs the referee’s checks? Are they more concerned with the “Golden Rule” or the “Golden Boy”? here is the Uniformed Boxing Rules.

The rules of boxing vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and on whether it is an amateur or professional bout. A violation of the following rules is considered a foul, and can result in a point deduction or disqualification:

• You cannot hit below the belt (Andrew “The Foul Pole” Golata, especially in combinations), hold (John Ruiz), trip (Dicky Eklund), kick (Riddick ‘Big Daddy” Bowe), headbutt (Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield), wrestle (John Ruiz), bite (“Iron dentures Mike Tyson” stop headbutting me Eva), spit on (Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins), or push your opponent (Amir Khan).

• You cannot hit with your head (Victor Ortiz) nor expect a kiss afterwards, shoulder (James “The Harlem Hammer” Butler), forearm (George Foreman), or elbow (George “Elbows” McFadden).

• You cannot hit with an open glove (Muhammad Ali), the inside of the glove (Harry Greb), the wrist (Fritzie “I make Ricky Hatton look like a Choir Boy” Zivic, the backhand (Sugar Ray Leonard), or the side of the hand (Bruce Lee).

• You cannot punch your opponent's back (Jake “The Bronx Bull” LaMotta), or the back of his head (“Terrible Terry” Norris) or neck (rabbit punch) (David “Hayemaker” Haye), or on the kidneys (kidney punch) Mickey “The Toy Bulldog” Walker.

• You cannot throw a punch while holding on to the ropes to gain leverage (“Sugar Ray” Robinson).

• You can't hold your opponent and hit him at the same time (, or duck so low that your head is below your opponent's belt line (Pernell “Sweet Pea” Whitaker).

• When the referee breaks you from a clinch, you have to take a full step back; you cannot immediately hit your opponent--that's called "hitting on the break" and is illegal Jack Dempsey. Or (Ricky “I would like one of each” Hatton, especially against ATG Kostya Tszyu)

• You cannot spit out your mouthpiece on purpose to get a rest (Diego Corrales RIP).

• If you score a knockdown of your opponent, you must go to the farthest neutral corner while the referee makes the count unless your name is Librado Andrade and your opponent is Bute then you must rent a room stay a week and then resume the count hopefully b4 Bute dies of old age!

• If you "floor" your opponent, you cannot hit him when he's on the canvas (Roy Jones, Jr).

• A floored boxer has up to ten seconds (Unless it is in Canada and your name is Bute then you have up to and including ten minutes) to get back up on his feet before losing the bout by knockout.

• A boxer who is knocked down cannot be saved by the bell in any round, depending upon the local jurisdiction's rules.

• A boxer who is hit with an accidental low blow has up to five minutes to recover. If s/he cannot continue after five minutes, s/he is considered knocked out.

• If the foul results in an injury that causes the fight to end immediately, the boxer who committed the foul is disqualified.

• If the foul causes an injury but the bout continues, the referee orders the judges to deduct two points from the boxer who caused the injury.

• If an unintentional foul causes the bout to be stopped immediately, the bout is ruled a "no contest" if four rounds have not been fully completed. (If the bout was scheduled for four rounds, then three rounds must have been completed.) If four rounds have been completed, the judges' scorecards are tallied and the fighter who is ahead on points is awarded a technical decision. If the scores are even, it will be called a "technical draw."

• If a boxer is knocked out of the ring, he gets a count of 20 to get back in and on his feet. He cannot be assisted.

• In some jurisdictions the standing eight-count or the three knockdown rule also may be in effect.

• In other jurisdictions, only the referee can stop the bout.

Where are they now:

• Rule about tampered with and loaded gloves, sorry Panama

• Rule about tackling, sorry Sandy Sadler

• Rule about no ducking, no not punches you know cherry-picking, sorry Calzaghe and currently the list is endless!

Special Awards go out to ATG”S

• Larry “Ain’t supposed to fly over parked cars in order to land on Trevor Berbick” Holmes

• James “ Ain’t supposed to murder Max Kellerman’s brother RIP with the Harlem Hamer “ Butler

• Aaron “The Hawk” Pryor - no the other bottle.

• Sonny “Foreign Substances” Liston

• Floyd “Just think of that as a kiss Dear ole Dad” Mayweather, Jr. after delivering a KO punch

• Roberto “Hands of Stone” Duran and Ken Buchanan was not peeing blood for a week.

• Panama “Please hand me the scalpel so I can operate on these unacceptable gloves” Lewis

Article posted on 11.04.2012

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